Imposter Syndrome: Representation Through Education
Cultural representation in higher education is both empowering and necessary, and before attending, I assumed I would be surrounded by others just like me. Growing up as the oldest sister in a Latinx familia with high expectations, I had always been surrounded by strong-minded people with a will to achieve the highest education. It was never really a question of whether I would go to college or not. I knew I would and I was fully on board. Representation was something I did not miss out on, which must have been influenced by the fact that I attended schools with diverse populations in the Bay Area where I felt represented. I love that I had that perspective during my childhood and teen years because it gave me confidence that some do not experience. I was a smart kid who received good grades, how could I not see myself going to college? As I began my higher education, I began to realize what people meant when they said we need more representation.
“I would go to networking events or enter a classroom and see I was someone who stood out. My imposter syndrome started to intensify.”
I started to see fewer people that looked like me and felt more like an outsider. I came to realize that this feeling is called imposter syndrome. In the simplest explanation, it’s the feeling of thinking you are a “fraud”. As a student, I was doubting the stepping stones I had carefully taken and everything I had accomplished to get where I was. My thoughts were flooded with the negative notion that I got lucky to make it as far as I had, rather than deserving of my place. I would go to networking events or enter a classroom and see I was someone who stood out. My imposter syndrome started to intensify. I was doubtful of my accomplishments, wondering if I still fit into this world of higher education. An overbearing feeling of doubt consumed me. No one truly explained this feeling to me. I was not familiar with the college experience and I had a lack of access to firsthand mentorship. On top of that, there is an inevitable doubt that most new adults feel now that the decisions are in your hands. “Am I picking the right field? Am I wasting time or money? Can I do four to five more years of this?” My experiences might be different from others, but I knew it was my imposter syndrome speaking. This feeling was something I had to overcome because I was determined to achieve the goals I have had since I was a small child. I had to change, but where to look for help?
“Because of these programs, I was able to connect closely with my culture while keeping on top of my studies.”
I fortunately had found support systems in my community college and university that made me feel it was still possible for me to achieve my goals. Being a transfer student I was able to experience college in two places that had those additional culturally representing environments. These environments provided resources to support students from underrepresented groups that I was a part of. Because of these programs, I was able to connect closely with my culture while keeping on top of my studies. Resources would vary between academic advising, culturally-focused counseling, peer mentors, numerous workshops, friends with the same ethnic/cultural background, a leadership retreat, and much more.
An event that particularly made me feel proud was La Raza Commencement hosted by my community college, San Jose City College. This event’s motive is to celebrate those with Latinx/Chicanx backgrounds with a bilingual and bicultural celebration with friends and family. It feels amazing just to graduate but this specific ceremony and the celebration of my identity attached to it felt exhilarating. I came to learn then 22% of Latinx adults hold an associate’s degree and 11% of Latinx adults received a four-year degree. Seeing the hundreds of faces at this celebration showed me we were growing this number and made me believe that we will continue to. My special graduation with la raza inspired me to give my all at my four-year university, now knowing I will be accepted into yet another welcoming environment.
I truly advocate for places that create a welcoming environment and cater to smaller communities within colleges and universities. It creates a deeper impact. and gives you an additional place to connect with people you can relate to, like the Latinx/Chicanx Student Success Center at San Jose State University and Latino Education Association at San Jose City College. Growing up, I never imagined there would be places like this that would keep me more in tune with the culture para echarle ganas.
